... truth

start - 1254

it started early feb. of 2006 i was 15...i met you.. i didnt know it would end like this.. actually i didnt know there was a start. it was just fun..
then the 28th rolled around and it began.. life was perfect. my first love.. i thought i love the one before you.. that is until i met you... you taught me exactly what it was to love.. not purposely...it was like we taught each other.. both young and dumb... new to everything... just going with the flow and loving where it took us..

it ended aug...2007 almost made 2yrs.. it was my fault i admit it.. we played around both loving each other for 6 months.. then it was seemingly over.."love never dies" and true to its word.. we were reborn.. for a short week..

now that week is over and i realized love does die... but true love doesn't.. we died today we loved... but it wasn't true...no our love didn't die together.. see his love died a while ago...mine is still there... i always thought.. its impossible to love someone who doesn't love you.. i always told my friends i could never love someone who doest care about me..its just senseless. sorry guys.. im senseless.. i love i love i love... soo much.. but you cant force love.. it flows.. and we don't flow...im trying but its like he loves that i love him...but doesn't love me...so im confused and torn and ive been loosing sleep.. trying to keep busy not trying to accept the fact that we will never bee...but today at 101 ( time now) i accept it.. i never been the one to pour my heart out or admit defeat... but I've been defeated.. I'm crushed heart broken and overall devastated.. i had no idea this is how it would turn out ... or else i would of never signed up for this. I'm afraid i wont ever stop loving you.. im afraid that in college i wont be able to sleep because i will be up thinking of you...i know i will.. im only 17..

ill look back at this 10 yrs from now and laugh and shake my head at myself.. even possibly show my husband this stupid posting .. and it will be nothing more than that .. a posting... but for now..its a sad sad ending to something im longing for..

its been real danica J

1:06 am